As I type these words, Kevin, yes MY KEVIN, is getting ready to go to the airport to catch a plane, to come back home. D-1. Hahaha!

Aveisha dialling Kevin's number as she is worried cos she hasn't heard from him all day. She hears the tone and then roaring comes on the line. There's how it goes:

Kev: Hello!

Aveish: Kev how are you. I've been worried all day about you.

Kev: I'm ok. At the pub. Watching footie.

That explains the roaring- Britons getting pissed on beer and watching footie. Aveish bites her lips to refrain from asking "With whom?" as she doesn't want to sound like she's prying.

Aveish: Ok. So what time you gonna be home?

Kev: Don't wait up for me. I'll be home late. I won't be online. I'm going to Niraj's after the pub.

Aveish bites her lips to refrain from saying "When are you ever online?" as she doesn't want to sound whiny and clingy.

Aveish: Ok. Nice.

Kev: Actually it's my Stag Night tonight. So...

Aveish: Ah ok- Wait- it's your WHAT?

Kev: STAG NIGHT!

Aveish: STAG NIGHT?

Kev: Yeah STAG NIGHT!

Aveish: But I said NO STAG NIGHTS EVER!

Kev: Haha I'm joking. No, it's a family reunion. Before I come back we're like all meeting up.

Aveish: But not a Stag Night? Only family? No strangers? (What she really means is "So you're meeting up with your family, not drowning shot after shot with prostitutes like they do in movies?)
Kev: No, stupid. Family reunion.

Aveish: Ok have fun.

Kev: You too.

Aveish: Right. Bye.

She awaits the usual "Hey WAIT!"

Kev: Hey WAIT!

He awaits the usual "What?"

Aveish: What?

She awaits the usual "Love you buku buku mwah mwah mwah"

Kev: Love you buku buku mwah mwah mwah.

Aveish: Right. Bye.

Bad luck has been following me all over the damn place. I can't take a step without banging my shin or something. Some examples.

I was reaching out in my desk drawer at work for a few envelopes I had to put in the post and I paper cutted (when you cut yourself with paper in the past tense) myself on one of the envelope flaps. It bled quite a bit. But I got ok real quick.

Some time later, my cousin was visiting us and me and my dad and my sister were all sitting and talking. The things they were saying were quite boring. Something about Northen Rock's shares. I yawned widely and loudly and... my contact lense from my left eye slid off on my cheek. I think it was the wrong side in. He was like "You're very stupid!" Stupid? Me? No way, just an accident.

Then few days ago, I was late for work. So I dumped my Nestum in a plastic bowl to have it at work. I had it and it was nice... Then at around midday I rummage thru my bag cos my phone battery is dead and I come up with...

Nestum powder covered charger. Somehow the fine dust had scattered around. The container wasn't closed too tight. I resisted the temptation to lick the stuff off, it was smelling so goooood.

Don't we just love Nestum Sunflowers? Hahaha.

And the last one. I was loading the car boot on Sunday and the flipping cover banged close on my arm! Some skin peeled off but it was more the banging that hurt me.

And last, but definitely not least... It took me 4 tries to upload this pic...

Ma bring on the red chillies and unrefined salt!

Ps. An add on- I was coming back from work on Friday afternoon and I saw this ok seat. Right in front- there was this old dingbat sitting right in the middle of the seat of 3. By my body language it was clear that I was about to sit next to her. But no, Madame couldn't be bothered. She just sat there, not bothering about me. Excuse me Ma'am but if you ain't blind, don't play bitch with me. In case you didn't know, I'm a bitch too, a fat one. So I sat my fat arse down right on her flowing skirt. She was well pissed and had to move her skirt off under my legs. Guess what I did? I just sat there and didn't move an inch, so she had a hard time pulling all the fabric form under my fanny. Ah well. Solitary games you play in your room Ma'am. Other games you play with other people who are like, let's face it, a kazillion times bitchier than you.

Til then, so long Sunflowers!

And don't forget, FUCK PRETENDERZZZZZ!

My sister never reads my blog. When she does, all she can come out with is "Mover pitin, tou dimoune zot foto ena, pou moi pena" Ok now there's a picture of her cutting her birthday cake. But by the next time she reads the blog, it'll be archived. I'm gonna add some buttons to my bloggie. Bye Sunflowers.





P.S. I'm distributing sunflower seeds from a flower I nicked from a temple yard near my house. Anyone for some nicked seeds?

Name is Charlie,

Kachak Charlie.

Look at our Kachak Charlie. We are all heartbroken cos he doesn't have fitness anymore. So thats the end of dear old Kachak.

RIP Kachak, we will miss you when you go get scrapped.

I wanted to tell you sunflowers what happened to me few days ago. I have been so buzy wuzy lately I barely have time to breathe, or blog. But I had to describe what I felt on that day, at that time, when I saw this jewel. It's a Mazda Rx8. My heart skipped a beat. My breath came out of my chest with a big "whoosh" I tried to whistle but it wouldn't come out. I whistled silent. I pulled off my sunglasses so quick I hit myself across the bridge of my nose. I'm not into cars but this thing here man. It's not a thing. It's a jewel. A diamond man. If I ever drive one of these, I promise to go on a diet to become a proper size 6 AND I'll stop swearing altogether AND I'll stop doing scoobies. Shit.

Papa, jette to vieux Honda ronfler ronfler la acheter ene coumsa nou rouler do!

I hate the way you talk to me,

The way you cut your hair,

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots,

And the way you read my mind,

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

It even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right,

I hate it when you lie,

I hate it when you make me laugh,

Even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around,

And the fact that you didn't call,

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,

Not even close,

Not even a little bit,

Not even at all.

Badabing badaboom. I'm so fecking tired. Loads to d becuase of my wedding, have no time to write. Will do tomorrow. Gotta sleep now gotta wake up early to go to driving lessons, fakkkkkk. So much to do, so little time... Night Sunflowers.

Ahem last week was Bidouskine's birthday and she phones me up and says "Langetorma ki date zordi? Mo laniversaire zordi vieux fam! Dessane Winner's!" Work was nearly over and I got out 15 minutes early. When I got to Winner's the arsty fartsy crew (Alex and his Hasintah, Pregarajen, Menka and Andypandy) was there. I was wearing my favorite eyeshadow- the purple one on my gray contact lenses and Pregz goes "Ta to couma ene pitin!" Thank you for that ahem, compliment... What exactly do you know about makeup PREGARAJEN?

Then I nicked Bid's beret and we took some piccies...

Then we hit the Caudan boulette point. Yummm.

Bidz was so happy after receiving her mug that she decided to drink Sprite in it... Kids.

We then went to the I don't know what it's called but loads of ugly people go there to make out. It's by the sea in Caudan, on the parking lot. And we took some more pics there.

I really wanted to take a nice pic there, but everybody kept on moaning and whining that I'm so clumsy and I'll fall back off slap bang into the sea and it's very deep and dirty so I got a bit scared and right then when that piccie was taken I know I was yelling "Alex likitorma tirer ene foi avan nou bez enbaaaaa!" Alex I know you're reading this where are the other pics? Look at the constipated look on Bid's face. She was scared!


Ah this pic I love. Look at the colors, Bids looks like she just had a go at glue sniffing. Andypandy's tee looks brill. I love his ears. They stick out at an angle of 90 degrees from his head. I measured it. Hahaha! 60% Rock, 50 % Roll.

KEEP ON ROLLIN SUNFLOWERS

I bought myself a ... dress today. I still can't believe it. A dress. Like a girl. I have one skirt, skirts are fine. But a dress. Last time I bought a dress was around 5 years ago. It was a denim dress. I wear it whenever I feel like it, which is like, once a year. But a dress. A dress to wear to go to work. A dress. I think I should stop saying it now. But I have certainly been stretching my wings lately. Yesterday I ate an apple. Today I bought a dress. Tomorrow's Saturday... God knows what shit I'm gonna whip up.

Ah and yeah. I've just come back from the movies. I went to see "Dhamaal" It's ok really, except that I can't remember what american movie it's copied off from. Hindi movies are fine. As long as it's comedies. Kalkiler al asizer 3 hr pou al get Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gam-ena likimama dehor la. I was pleasantly surprised by the sight of a ... bomb. A sex bomb. A killer sex bomb.

Ashish Chowdhry...

Out with Shiney

WE WANT ASHISH!!!!!

Oh yes and in my excitement to tell you about my lickle green apple, I forgot to tell you one thing... I saw a hooker today. Nothing extraordinary in that. I sometimes think I'm a hooker when I wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror. Then I shake my thoughts free of sleep and realise, no, I ain't a hooker, I work in an office, I type letters. Sometimes I also wake up to think I am Mona Lisa. But then I'm like, what the fuck? She isn't as beautiful as me (plus I don't think she knows how to "do" HTML like me) Yeah so coming back to our hooker, I saw one today. She was wearing a pair of tan pants and a tan halter top. She was sitting opposite Mexico Tea Hotel- for those who know, they know- Lagar Victoria- and she spat down. I saw her spit. The question is- what exactly was she spitting? Aftertaste? Hahaha!

And yeah, another hooker I chatted to earlier this night told me that he cannot shout in my shoutbox as he is too lost for words after reading. So, dear hookers, shout before reading.

So long prostituted sunflowers.

And if you stop reading my blog, you'll be prostituting your literacy. (Whatever THAT may mean.)

Stop prostituting your time and get back to work.

Saying this, I have nothing against prostitutors. And since I type letters and get paid for it, I am prostituting my fingers. I am a finger prostitutor. Deep shit man.

I was a telemarketing agent a few years back and my father and cousins used to call me "call girl". I guess it's true then. I was prostituting my voice. Deeper shit man.

Thank God I don't have Adsense on my blog. I would have been prostituting my writing. Deeper shit man.

Are you laughing now? So hard that your sides hurt? Don't say no, I can see you! I love you all, keep on reading, my sweet protituted Sunflowers.

Today... Yesssss people, today... This date has to go down in history... I ate one of these:

Yes, an apple. An apple. I ate an apple today. Aveish ate an apple. Aveish Ate An Apple on October 04, 2007. I ate an apple. It was ok. Last time I think I ate an apple was on Tuesday. But it was a Mentos sweet. So I guess it don't fucking count. I can't believe it. I ate an apple. I wanna say it slowly. I ate an apple, today I ate an apple. Angela took a picture of me eating an apple. She was laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes and she said that it's a miracle. Whenever she comes around with an apple, she says "Tu veux manger une pomme?" I just hide my face or look the other way or pretend I don't hear or swear at her. But today I ate an apple. I took an apple from the table, rinsed it (I never rinse stuff- but I was taking a stab at normality, so I washed it, just like a normal person would wash her apple) I took a knife, cut it in four (not the knife- you can't cut a knife in four- well you can, with appropriate tools, but I cut the APPLE in four, with a KNIFE.) I put it in a saucer, took it to my table. Angel saw me and almost had a massive heart attack. She ran to get her phone and took a photo of me, eating an apple. I can't believe it. Last time I ate an apple I think maybe was when I was 10. Fruits and me don't really get along well- except when it's green mangoes with a kazillion kilos of chillies and salt. Wow. AVI ATE AN APPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! When was the last time you sunflowers had an apple? Yesterday? Urgh! :p

Happy birhtday ROCKSTARRRRR!!!!!

Aha!

(My nails grow in this color when I'm in a good mood)

Ok so if you are a regular reader of my blog, you will see that there have been major changes on it lately. HTML isn't so bad. I'm starting to get used to playing around with it. I never stop stunning myself. Maybe I'm not stupid after all. Oh well. Everything is going runningly and I'm spending more time trying out stuff on this beauty. My dad walks around and watches out of the corner of his eyes to what I am up to. Maybe he sneaks a peak after I'm done. ;-) I have him worried though. Just a few moments ago he was like "To p ekrir mem toi, ekrir, to fer dimoune pisse difer r to ekrir toi!" For those who aren't in the know, let's just say that this bloggie got me into deeeeep shit once. (Ok well, that's an understatement) It required a lawyer and loads of strength as well. Anyway it's all over, but still I had to explain to Ton Guy that I was making my baby pretty and writing nice stuff about people now. I'm a changed person, just like my changed bloggie. But I still mainain that sunflowers should have been pink.