Manish Roy, the guy I love to hate.

This sod here is called Manish Roy. He used to be A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ARSE dan lesson kot Sawmy. The number of times he made me cry, he broke eggs on my head for my birthday, he nicked my sim card and locked it and I had to spend a whole week using another simcard. I hated him. Li ti extra mechanceter sa garson la. I dreaded tuitions at Sawmy's because of him. He did so many things that really annoyed me. I dunno why but I feel like crying whenever I think of those moments. What a bloody waste of time and energy! He never had anything good to tell me. In short he was a royal arsehole. Really. But things got better when we grew up. I can talk to him without wanting to pull my hair or cry. Now he's ok. I mean he's not downright sweet, but I get along with him just ok. We chat once a while and I try not to remember what he made me go through. I learnt to forgive and forget... Uh I'm not here to talk about my misery. He's actually looking for a chick. Anyone? He's funny at times. Apart sa pena narier extraordinaire are li. Li bien ordinaire li. Manish Roy, you're a celebrity now. Yay. Hahaha! Macro, I just got back at you, you BITCH! And don't even think about telling me to erase this post, we're talking about blogging therapy here, I therapied myself over you. So long.

mmm...

I'm feeling so so so horrid. I don't have a clue of what's so horrid though. I feel the way I used to before I met Kevin. I have the blues. I just can't be bothered to work or anything. I just wanna sit there and think about these things:

One: Kevin is very very very far away. I miss him. I miss him like crazy. I can't stand it anymore. I just want him home now. I wanna snuggle up to him and smell the scent of his body and feel his arms around me. I wanna crack some jokes and see him actually laugh in front of me. He will say I'm weird and funny.

Two: I wanna go to the beach, just float face down with my mask and tuba in the salty water, watch the life going on there and do nothing, nothing, nothing at all. I'll go out when my hands and feet become wrinkly. Then I'll sit in the sun with no SUNBLOCK ON and burn till I become brown like the creole kids who run around barefoot in Flic en Flac with a red pixidou in their grubby hands.

Three: I wanna get myself a new cell phone with a bazillion options in it. A bigger memory stick, a camera with more than 1.3 mp, better sound, the works.

Four: I wanna have 2 kazillions of money- 1 kazillion of dollars and one kazillion of pounds. I'll put the pound kazillion in a fixed deposit and get the interest every month and use the first quarter of the dollar kazillion to buy myself a huge pink RAV4 and a house by the sea with all the works in it. Second quarter of the kazillion I'll buy a Boeing 787 just for me and Kev. Third quarter of my kazillion I'll get a Boeing 747 for my family. Half of the fourth quarter I'd set up a charity- "Make Paris Hilton Pretty" She might have all the money in the world, but she's ugly. She has an ugly face, size 11 feet, no boobs and arse. She's an ugly bitch. This money would be used to re-do her fucked up body and face. The other half of the fourth quarter would go to another charity- "Buy Paris Hilton A Clue" "Stars are blind?" Hello????? You call that singing?

Five: I want Kevin and me to have perfect straight white teeth.

Six: I wanna go to my hairdresser and have my old cut back. I wanna take a big gob of hair gel and play with it in my hair and make it stand up so that people can stare when I walk around. I can't wait to cut my hair again. Long hair is so boring. And nowadays all you can see is teenagers with looooong black hair (slept with your straightner last night love?) and loads of kohl pretending to be "goth" or "punk" or "rock" or whatchamacalit. Come on, imitation is suicide. Dare to be yourself- dare to be a total BITCH (like me)

Seven: Put an end to pretendersssss! Pretenders... one day I'll really expose truths about some interesting people I've come across in my life. Drom vide fer mari buku tapaz. What I mean is cut your coat according to your cloth. FUCK PRETENDERS! So what if I don't have a flashy car or don't dress in designer clothes and wear loads of jewelry? At least I have a bit of food and running water in my house. And I don't pretend to own stuff that's not mine. I'm not an empty shell. Fuck empty shells.

I'm going to get myself an Astros McFlurry Anybody?

Vidisha Bidouskine Touskin DeCanal

My mother is watching a movie and that's really pissing me off. It's called Aap Ka Surroor. Seriously... Doesn't she have nothing better to do than watch that arsehole of Himesh wiggle his bums on TV? Oh well that's her taste, considering the face that she's a bit old and needs entertainement. I just thought of our my dear cousin Vidisha Bidouskine Touskin DeCanal the Marazine Bomli. What I don't understand is why... WHY a fine, talented and intelligent Black Beauty such as Vidisha Bidouskine Touskin DeCanal keeps on ranting and raving about his songs. I mean it was pretty funny when we did the "Assalamalekum" stunts when we were pissed out of our heads at 3 in the morning. But listening to that crap day and night like Vidisha does (I hope you're reading this you BITCH- you still owe me an Astor) is sad. I'd rather be doing our "We causin' on a devastation when we step into the place and better believe what you can see, we gonna rock and never stop, here we go again, hit you with the flow again" stunt or "Beedi jalayle jigar se piya... aisa kaate KE DANT KA NISAAN CHOD LE!"

Yup that's me and Vidisha Bidouskine Touskin DeCanal. We used to kiss each other on the mouth in front of the camera just to piss Kevin off. He was livid. He said "stop the lesbian kinda kissing, it scares me!" So we stopped. Smita just happened to have her camera in her hand at that moment and we were all a teeny bit merry from wine-ing so we were saying funny stuff and I just bent down and held her and probably came out with something funny then after a few weeks I get what we now call a "facebook surprise" Go check out the definition on Urban Dictionary- link on the page.

Coming back to Vidisha Bidouskine Touskin DeCanal or Bidi as some of you might know her, we are related. I say sisters but she's actually my dad's sis' daughter. She's gonna be a fashion designer... Ahem ahem. When we were younger, we used to roam around a lot. We held hands innocently but then people would never know we were related. She's tall, dark, stylish, a fasion victim, pretty and refined. I'm short and tubby and and don't give jack about clothes. So we held hands and walked around and people would stare. Then it clicked- they thought we were lesbos. We had a real piss about it. And we adopted this attitude- whenever people looked dissaprovingly at us, we'd just face each other and kiss full on the mouth. We did that quite a few times and got a lot of stares in returns. But now we don't kiss anymore but still hold hands and when we're clubbing, we 're always over each other. Oh well, those were the long gone days, still at school, and carefree. And I'm laughing about one thing now, one day we went shopping and her feet were hurting like hell in those white sandals and she was moaning. So being big sis, I changed shoes with her. Her shoes were big and I dunno what happened but the heel broke. And we had this whole pack of takeout chinese food- noodles, nioukyen, saomai- the works. We were in the bus and I was passing the pack to her, and some stuff fell down- I remember that big nioukyen on the bus floor, and this guy walks in with his neat red shoes with the little Puma logos on the toes and he squishes on of them. Poor sod, I don't think he knew what he'd trodden on. We were laughing so hard and the conductor got so pissed off but couldn't say a thing you see. Then we had to go to Tangs Spar, so we got down at Gool (one shop that doesn't have any doors and serves boiled noodles with rats in it) and walked to Tangs. Arsha and Bidi walked in front cos they were ashamed of me as I was clip clopping around. My feet were well dirty and I had to buy a pair of flip flops at Tangs. Mari chak sa. I think it was in August of last year, just before my engagement. Kevin was here but it was nice being away from him, with my 2 girls, shopping, making loud fucked up remarks and comments about people in our secret language so people would not understand. Oh God, we are so horrid when we are together! And if you add Smita to the lot, it becomes even worse! Take the whole cousin crew and you have a disaster calamity area. When we camped out in December at Suru's we had a separate appartment for the kids. Mattresses all over the place, swearing competitions, and Vickram and Vasant and The Farting Contest- who would fart loudest and stinkiest, and we used to cover our faces, gag and scream "What's rotting inside you?" Neeraj showing us how to smoke so we wouldn't tell on him when he sneaked out to the nightclub late at night, the secret meetings on the dark roof, high, high up with all the billions of stars... The long lazy days on the beach, getting burnt in the sun, Veemal snoring right in the middle of a card game... Where has my youth gone? Gosh, time flew by so quick...

T.L.

In a few months, my initials are going to change from T.J. to T.L.

I don't mind at all. Except that T.L. is short for TubeLight too. Kevin calls me Tubelight. Today I proved (to myself) that I might become a Tubelight in a few months, but it's a tubelight who (finally) knows how to finger (goooood) HTML. I'm so good baby, yeah!

Don't you sunflowers dare say the same thing as the above retro beeyatch.

I should have listened.

I used to think "HTML" was a bra size.

Apparently it's not.

It's something far more complicated than that

Rowan told me HTML is how the net works.

I used to take the piss whenever he wanted to teach me.

I should have learnt.

I'm cleaning up files and folders on our computer and I've come up with some pics.

My Mum and I
Guess where I got my nose from! :o)

The people are (L-R) Akash, Abhinav and Niteesha. This is how we all go to school and work in the mornings. Abhi hates it cos he's tiny and always gets the middle place and ends up squashed. Hahaha. Poor baby.

I love this photo even though it would have been better less overexposed. It sums up my sister and I. She's looks for serious things in everything. While I'm always laughing and smiling and whatnot. Smile Arshika, the world is watching!

Non mais si to pou rie ene rier deluile, plito laisse beton!!!!! Look at my earrings man, I just love them (Fuck you if you think they're too loud or tacky.)

I was cleaning up a bunch of orchids cos the stems were starting to go mushy and were ponging like hell. I got the pollen on my arm and it took 2 showers and quite some rubbing to get it off. This will teach me a lesson about being unfaithful to Sunflowers. Next time I'll stick to my dear sunflowers.

Arshika, Avi, Ashley- Alimer differ! Matajee tappe lamer pou encourager! Wawayo!

1,2,3, HOP!

Aller Arshika, Yash, Avi and Ash!

No it won't break, don't you worry, it's a Joosery bed. The more, the better!

After a looooong tiring day at the IVTB School Of Design, Vidz was feeling cold in her feet. I had these socks in my bag. She put them on only because it goes well with her top. Artsy fartsy Black Beautieeeee!

You don't wanna know.

Avi working? I don't think so! Writing love letters more like it!

My favorite position in bed...

... when writing to Kev.

Feets.

Who ELSE can coordinate her top, earrings and roses but me? Definitely not YOU!

Gape and drool you suckers!

Kritish, barre bhaiya! Wake up, get my gift, today's Rakhi!

My mum taking our pic early morning, we look chinky!

Peace out.

Blogging Therapy.

McDonald's motto is "We're out to make you Smile" You wish…

I went there today to have lunch. I had to meet up my cousin Kritish. I was alone, queuing up, and I had 3 couples to my left, 2 couples behind me another two on my right and another one behind me. I didn't really realize this at first. But the couple right in front of me was very lovey dovey. They were cuddling and kissing and whatnot. It made me feel very uneasy. I avoided looking at them and turned my face to my right. The two other couples were holding hands and smiling and chattering away. I could feel tears stinging my lids. I took a deep breath and turned my face left. Same thing with the other couples. I stared up left and tried memorizing the different prices of the menus. I could hear the couple behind me. Those people were really in it and he was saying so many sweet things to her. They were holding hands and rocking them back and forth, playing around. I don't know what happened right then cos the next moment I was frantically running my hands through my pockets looking for some Kleenex to wipe my face. I had none. So the tears ran down and I did something very disgusting- I wiped my face on my sleeve. I was so lonely then that even if Lord Voldemort wanted to point and say "Scourgify", I would have let him do it. I'm not complaining that I am unhappy or lonely. It's just that I can't be arsed into explaining stuff to people all the time. Also, it helps me a whole lot to write things down, it's my therapy. I swear a lot on my blog. Some people get angry when I swear on my blog. Well guess what? I can't do anything about it. It's my own way of exteriorizing (you understand the word) my feelings. I write not to be read but to relieve myself of stuff. I don't want to explain to people how I feel. They will feel like I'm complaining too much, that I am not happy with what I have when I have it all. It's just that, it's been a long week. I know it's wrong to cry in public. I know it's wrong to wipe your face on your sleeves. I know it's wrong to complain. Is it wrong to write on your blog? Is it wrong to make your blog your punching ball? I write to feel lighter. I now feel lighter.

I just wish time would go just a little wee bit faster...

... So we can find our lost closeness again.

I miss you like crazy.

HELP ME KEEP THIS PLACE FROM MALBAR LENORD.

Who are you? The righteousness police?

My mother's gone to Bombay. She went there on Sunday. The house is kinda empty cos she's not screaming for us to pick up our socks or wash our dishes. I'm doing it all by myself. That's why I don't really blog. But my sister and father are helping me a lot. I'm cooking and washing and what not. As I type the washing machine is whirring away peacefully. I have so much to do. I even clean the toilets. Yesterday my dad told me "Shall I wash the dishes?" I said no I can manage. (Kev I haven't broken any plates as yet.) He said "Do I sweep the house?" I said I can mangae that too. Then he goes "What can I do to help?" I go "Nothing much, everything is running smoooooth- but wait! You can wash the loos and wash basin" He looks at me for 5 seconds, lets it it sink in. He gives me one of those stares and says "Why don't you FUCK OFF?" I look at him and say "Go take the clothes off the line then." He goes "This I can do" Yup that's Ton Guy for you.

There's this Benetton ad on the Billboards all over the place. A woman sitting astride a man on a couch, her hand over his face and she's giving a"temptress look" for some reason inunderstood (which I can't understand) people are running around screaming obscenity. What the fuck people? Come on grow up! You can stay closed up at home, watch porn all day and there's this artistically challenged picture on the wall ad you start bitching about? Talk about fer fam pitin. What the fuck is wrong? Same thing applies for some peach juice which brand I don't remember- CKool maybe? There was this cross section of a peach, with its pit in it and people started going around screaming it looks too much like a pussy to be exposed and peeled it down cos it distracts men when they drive and might cause accidents. What about when girls doll up and drivers wolf whistle and make fucked up comments?- can't accidents happen then? Please. What about those double cab ads then? They stay stuff like "Intimidate if you can" or "Hard, man" is that all good? Today I saw this sign for some new Mitsubishi vehicles. It says "Men drive Mitsubishi" What if a girl drives one? Does she become a Mitsubitchy? What the fuck? It's so... I don't know what to say. Prefere mo bousse mo liki. Mone mari arazer la fran tou.

Niteesha aka Tikissa aka Naughtysha and me.

We had just added purple streaks to her hair. Enfin, fooling around as usual. Gogot la pane prend meme.

"Because I'm worth it!"

I was chatting to my cousin the other day and he sent me a few photos of last year. They're very "new" and pretty. Let's take a look, shall we?

Kevin looks weird for 2 reasons:

1. We were all very very very hungry and me and Vick were talking and eating with our chopsticks. I feel Kevin fidgeting and I look at him. He was trying to get a fork from a waitress. He can't eat with chopsticks. Me and Vick were like "To pa conne mange ek chopsticks?" 20 coute mo dire "Hey to pa conner!" I never thought he'd accept but I was dead chuffed when I picked his food from his bowl and made him eat. He ate quietly. And my suga is allergic to PDA.

2. Vick had just gone to the toilets and I was like "Kiss me now! You haven't kissed me the whole day! Do it!" Kevin goes "No he'll see us" I go "Do it now!" Then he kissed me. I opened my eyes a few seconds later to see Vick walking towards us, seeing us, stop dead in his tracks, go back, come again. Kevin was like "Shit! You happy now! That's the last time!" Come on Kevvv... Hihihi. Both guys were so embarassed and I was like what the fuck?

Hmmm in this little pub. I don't remember the name. It's just in front of Wagamama. It was around Halloween and I remember the construction paper spiders and cobwebs and witches and pumpkins. I took some photos of the old oil lamps and stuff like that. Was nice.

I don't like this picture a whole lot. I look dead sleepy in it. We were on our way back home and Kevin goes all lovey dovey and holds me so I can get off the escalator or watchama call it. I protest and say I can manage, we got these things in Mauritius. He says "I know, but knowing how clumsy you are, you're gonna fall flat on your face" I'm not clumsy. I think. Bad things just have a tendency to happen to me.

My baby and I.

How I miss those moments full of love and affection. When you held my in your arms and whispered sweet nothings to me, smiled whenever I laugh, felt bad when I cried. The way you yelled at me for breaking that stupid ugly plate. I cried and when I heard mum yelling at you for yelling at me and telling you off, saying you're bad cos you yelled at me after being closed up for 12 hours straight. You yelled louder and she said "Bousse ou labousse! Aller!" I started smiling through my tears and mum said "Aveisha pa prend li conte, li zis crier li, apart sa, pa nanier" Then I really laughed. Oh well... Soon enough...

So long sad Sunflowers missing their sunrays.

As there's gonna be a big event in December, we're cleaning out the house. And this comprises of me standing up on the stepladder throwing out clothes from the closets that are very high up. I wait for my mum and sister to stop oohing and aahing over "lost" clothes, tell them to hurry up cos the wood smell is starting to get at me. I'm 23 years old. I used to play with wood shavings as a child, in my uncle's workshop- he's a cabinet maker. Now I can't handle it anymore. I handed my mum an ancient box which I'd found high up and she was smiling at the things in there- the tokens she received for her wedding- the pink string you wear around your neck for 40 days, her sindoor box, a bindi... She was showing the stuff to me and Arshika and bragging to us that it's all intact. There was this bit of tissue paper, and she opens it and says "Look Aveish, that's your umbilical cord!"

I nearly fell off the stepladder... My sister was making faces and saying "Ewwww" I just told her to shut up and not to be jealous cos we can't find yours. I'm 23... And my cord is still here. Blimey! I don't really know what more to say...