Dear Santa... I know it's early to write you a letter but as it is, Christmas is too far away, (so I guess I can get away with it for my birthday) and the best gift you could give to me is this brilliant mobile phone. I'm coming across more and more of them things and I want one of my own... Are you only listening to me Santa? I WANT THIS MOBILE PHONE ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Rowan is a nutcase. What he said to me after reading my last post is this: " Some guys seem to have insufficient neural connections to properly control instructions coming from their other head." What the hell am I supposed to understand in this? Nothing? Maybe... Well I think he's not a normal person. My theory is that he was created by super intelligent extraterrestrial life forms in a test tube. The ovary was stolen from Marie Curie and the sperm from Albert Einstein. When he was a foetus, he wasn't in a womb. He was in a test tube filled with superintelligent goo. He was so intelligent that he became a nine month foetus in 4 months. When he was ready, they abducted a newborn baby, dropped Rowan him in his place. The abducted baby, who is the REAL Rowan is somewhere in space, feeding on star dust and drinking brain enhancing juice. And that's it. I don't believe that you're a normal human being Rowan... Your blog with all the sad stories about girls is just a cover. You want people to think that you're just a normal youngster- you live by the beach, are friends with beach bums, check out girls from souvenir shops and get your heart done by them... WHATEVER you say, dear Alien, I dun believe it!!!!! :-P

I went to buy myself a Hello Panda today. Just 10 minutes ago. As I entered the shop, a stinking dirty black man who works in a truck (enfle camion) was coming out. He came close (too close for comfort) to me and whispered "Bonsoir" in what we will call his "suave" voice. I kept on walking. As I finished buying my Hello Panda, I came out. He was up in the cabin of the truck and said that "Bonsoir" again. I lost my temper, turned back and said "Bousse to lagel movai pilon" (which can approximately be translated as "Shut your trap sad faggot") the guy's face... His friends laughed. You shoulda seen it. I can't believe I did that. I mean I did it all the time in my school days. But now it's becoming rarer. Since he beginning of last year I've been putting my head down and walked straight when such things happened. But now... I feel good. Really good. Swearing at people who make comments is kinda cheap but you have to do it at times. The las time I REALLY had a go at someone was december last year. I was livid. I was walking with my young cousins on the street and had a bright orange tee-shirt with a Dodo on it. The same category of person (enfle camion) saw me and said "Mmmm get sa matelot. Get sa dodo la. Bizin trap sa dodo la. Souce li bien." (Translate as "Mmmm look at this buddy. Look at the Dodo. I have to catch the Dodo. Suck on it") I had kids with me. I slowed my pace, let the kids walk in front with only my 12 year old cousin at the back with me. I just turned around and yelled out loud to all the persons who were staring like a bunch of royal idiots: "All souce likitorma movai pilon." (Go suck at your mother's cunt you sad faggot.) I know I'm rude. I know it. But I can't take shit from people all the time. When will guys understand that it's not funny to say dumb stuff all the time? Now this goes to all those bastards who make comments to girls- you stink you bastards. Go suck cock. Go eat shit. Go fuck pigs. Leave us alone.