I AM A GIRL
Paining agony
Biting distress
Hurting rack
Stinging torment
Torturing affliction
Aggrieving annoyance
Boring chafe
Distressing fret
Grieving harassment
Incommoding plague
Teasing trouble
Tormenting throe
Aching discomfort
I am a girl
Born to suffer my dooming woe

AGE OF BEAUTY
This age of beauty
Is quickly fading
Stop somehow
And help me now

AROUND
Blue the sky
White the cloud
Green the grass
Brown with sun
Purple the flowers
A selection of the election
A prayer of the nation
A stopped clock
Pointing two o’clock
The water of a rock

LOUD SILENCE
The silence rings loudly to my ears
Like a straight thin line burning
Deep throughout my skull
Like a fire, red and yellow with black
Hovering over, above, all around
All the way
Darkness surrounding red burning light
Go away

IMAGINATION I
The imagination of dawn
Is like simplicity carved
With a bent knife
Cutting up forms
Of Love and Hate
And Boys of Girls
And dreamsome cowboys


IMAGINATION II
Imagination is a fake truth
A rainbow dotted with butterflies
A bottle of soft blue green ink
Turning to mauve pink
A bird sits above my head
Weighing like a gray white elephant

Till I find myself a publisher.
One of my talents apart from scaring people is that I write poetry. Not like dumb flowers butterflies and fluffy clouds and such horseshit. But dark stuff. I have to be in a particular mood to come up with something crazy. Today I’m publishing “Loud Silence”. No need to tell me it’s weird- I know. No need to tell me it doesn’t make sense, it does to me. Do you think Blake or all those dumb poets wanted you to understand what they were writing? NO! Then? Fuck off and read the shit.
LOUD SILENCE
The silence rings loudly to my ears
Like a straight thin line burning
Deep throughout my skull
Like a fire, red and yellow with black
Hovering over, above, all around
All the Way
Darkness surrounding red burning light
Go away.

Scared? I don’t give a toss… just as long as you tune in for the next instalment. So long Sunflowers!!!!!

It’s nearly midnight and I’m at my pc typing these words waiting for the fucking van. I have been selected to work at 01:00 instead of 03:30. Isn’t that the heights? It’s fucking cold and I’m fucking freezing and sneezing. And tired. Had a fucky had today. Went to sleep at 04:00, was buzy chatting with my friends. I would have kept on but my dad yelled at me to get to sleep. Then I woke up at 09:00 thanks to Cindy who called and asked me so sweetly to change times that I couldn’t refuse. Then had a 30 minute walk with my mom and aunts and cousin to aerobics class where I worked my arse off for an hour and there was these fellow aerobics students’ birthdays. We had cake and fizzy drinks. Then came back home watched CD2A. There was fucking Edgemont and went to the university to pay for a course. Was deceived cos the cash office opens 09:00 to 14:30. There was no time specified in the letter I’d gotten. Van’s here.

Now it’s 21:19 the next day- today. I broke a personal record- I wore my contact lenses at 26 hours at a stretch. Put them on at 10 am yesterday and took them off at noon today. Wooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

At 02:00 today there was this flight attendant who was quite cute who talked to me. I was dead chuffed!!!!! Unfortunately he was not very very cute. Just my fucking luck…

Don’t forget to tune in for the next installment… till then so long Sunflowers!!!!!

A SUNFLOWER A DAY KEEPS THE BITCHIN' AT BAY
Just came home from work and I’m fecking tired as usual… and angry… I still haven’t found love. How does it REALLY feel like being in love? How does it REALLY feel like being loved? Hello!!!!! I’m talking to you!!!!! Can somebody please explain? I’m 21 years, 2 months, 30 days and 13 hours old and I still don’t know how it feels. Pathetic, right? Life is so shitty… am I happy? What’s happiness? Reminds me of The Verve’s LUCKY MAN:

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

Well, I'm a lucky man
With fire in my hands

Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am

Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just who I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

I hope you understand
I hope you understand

Gotta love that'll never die

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

Gotta love that'll never die
Gotta love that'll never die
No, no
I'm a lucky man

It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

I just don’t know what to write about. All my brill ideas have gone to pot. So lemme talk about my favourite things on earth: guys. Guys can be real cool at times and real dicks the remaining of the time. Go figure out why. Some of them seem to think the earth of themselves. Like Damien, a guy from my previous job. He thought the earth of himself and I used to think he was cute and everything. But to tell the truth, he’s just a prick. A big big prick and I’m sure he’s got a small didget. He was stupid and thought he was the best looking guy in the whole world. Get a grip D!!!!! You can get away by fooling others, but you can’t fool me or yourself. Stupid bitch of a guy. Now the extreme to that guy… well not that extreme is another one called Neeraj. I’ve known him for something like 6 years and I absolutely love him. He’s just so wonderful. He’s the perfect guy for any self respecting girl… but not for me ALAS!!!!! He’s simple, smart, sassy, sexy and not a sucker. We’ve grown a bit distant these days because of my job and I really hate it. But fuck I know he’s my friend and that’s the most important thing for me.

My best boy-friend these days is Hemraj. He’s crazy but I love him just as he is, and the thing is that it’s reciprocal. He always knows which buttons to push. He and my other best buddy Hannah are great people who tell me the truth to my face without my being angry at them. And God knows I can get real bitchy when I don’t agree with something other people think about, especially when it’s about me.... anyway what fuck. Till then so long Sunflowers.

This is great!!!!! I wanted to do this for so long. I just hope I won’t bore anybody. I wanted to be a blogger ever since I heard what it was… Well to tell the truth not really… But the word “blog” has got a strange “twang” to it. It’s like “gloopy” or “lumpy” or “bloopy” you know, like porridge. Thick with gloopylumpybloopy thangs in ‘em. Uh maybe because there IS a brand of oatmeal called Joe Bloggs isn’t IT!!!!! Blogging sounds like breakfast doesn’t it? Cos if the oatmeal isn’t Joe Bloggs, maybe it’s corn flakes. Like Kellogg’s Cornflakes!!!!! I can see you getting bored. But don’t lemme impress you tho eh? I’m a very uh… interesting person. Not cos I’m never putting 10 words together without ½ of them being swearwords you suckers. Because I’m ME MYSELF AND I!!!!! I had so many things to write about but Joe Bloggs and Kellogg’s took them out of my head… OH FUCKKKKKK!!!!!! For now I think I’m gonna watch TV. Don’t forget to tune in for the next instalment… Till then so long Sunflowers!!!!!