Doing my bit for charity.

(No I'm not adopting a little child from a 3rd world country cos I'm no Angelina Jolie or Madonna or Bruno)

There's this charity that often drops leaflets through the front door. As per them, you can put like your old blankets, clothes, shoes, cooking instruments, toiletries, but sorry no bric a brac, books or plastic toys please- in a bag on the road and they come and collect it and they ship them to 3rd world countries... Apparently, this creates jobs for the people who collect them, sort them out and give jobs to shipping companies. I try and fork out my old clothing whenever I can but some people are not very helpful. The Husband (note; from now on Kevin will be called the husband- it sounds more author like, like professional like.) Yeah The Husband had an old pair of shoes I was planning to give to them, but he got sick and tired of seeing his old shoes in a shoe box in one corner of the room that he dumped them... Instead of givin' in to charity. God sees everything... Maybe he was just jealous that someone else'd be wearin' his shoes...

Now, your question is, why on Earth is this silly cow talkin' about charity? Well Sunflowers, it's just to show that I'm not a selfish eejit and that I donate all my used stuff to poor people. Mmmkay?

Now my question is why "sorry no bric a brac, books or plastic toys please"? Well, simply because they live in mud huts so they can't decorate hence, no use for bric a brac. And they can't read, so books are useless. And cos they too busy playin' with plasctic toys so they don't go to school and hence don't know how to read, so "rich" people, keep your fucking plastic toys to yerselfs

On an ending note, The Sister has brought me my fave stuff from Mauritius (baget fromaz, tamarin, mine appollo, gato lacire, HELLO PANDA!!!!!)

And I still haven't opened my Hello Panda as yet cos I don't wanna finish it...

Hey gorgeous!

Dolmio Bolognese sauce V/S Tinned Chopped Tomatoes...

The husband cooked "carri agneau" yesterday...

Apparently it was good. I say apparently cos I don't eat meat myself cos I can't stomach it but them 2 enjoyed it thoroughly. The only meat I eat is poultry and seafood. But this doesn't count cos it's not meat. And I ain't being wanting being called a vegetarian either cos I is a FLEXITARIAN. People who don't eat red meat but anything else are called that. Well, I read that somewhere ages ago. I don't drink milk either but I am a big consumer of ice cream. But that's anuver story.

Yeah so Kevin cooked lamb curry using MY tomatoes yesterday. I mean MY tinned chopped tomatoes yesterday (why buy fresh when it comes ready in a can?) And methinks he forgot to tell me he used MY tomatoes. So here I am, trying to cook a ladaube pomme de terre and at the critical moment where you have to add your tomatoes, I look coolly first in the fridge, for my little black plastic food saver for my tomatoes, and then a bit less coolly the freezer, and not cool at all in the tin can drawer and lo and behold! NO TOMATOES IN SIGHT! NOT EVEN A FRESH ONE! But lo and behold again! There's a jar of MAMA'S ORIGINAL BOLOGNESE SAUCE! And lo and behold a 3rd time! There goes the contents! All in the saucepan, with the potatoes, chopped onions, curry leaves and ginger and garlic paste that have merrily been frying away! (this is actually a show off bit- I'm showing you that I know what goes in a ladaube pomme de terre) Then I add my Mayil Special Daube powder to it.

Lookin' gorge eh? Who wants to come over for dinner? And it tastes good as well.

Damn I'm good!

P.S. Hello to Akash. Love you...

Sup people? Howz it hangin? Just to let the bleddy world know that Kevz laptop has gone bust so I can barely use it to do anything, let alone blog. But my sista has come to see me and she's brought my dad's laptop with her so I'm using that instead. I'm on 3 weeks leave at the mo, which leaves me time to clean up, make tea, and listen to my sister's boring stories about work and life in general. But still, it's nice having her here. Seeing her get excited at the aisles full of chocs and biscuits in Asda and Tesco. It reminds me of when I just came here myself...
No change then. She's still ugly...

Hmmm I think I'm going to change my template. I was working on it a few months ago and I've got a version somewhere on a pendrive. I only need to finetune it. I mean I'm almost a quarter of a century old now so maybe I should drop the pink. Not that I can get enough of pink but you know... I need a pair of pink shoes. These are the last ones I bought. The red and black ones are for me sis and the purple ones are mine.

I got this card from Starbucks that entitles me to free coffee. So I had a coffee today. A free one. Yeah cos I get free coffee cos I got a card from Starbucks that makes me get free coffee innit.

I am ashamed to say that I forgot it was Independance day yesterday. I was on Facebook today and I got wished Happy Independance day and realised it too late. That is bad as in very bad. I mean what sort of stupid cow forgets the Independance day (This Independance day writing thing is too long man. Make it I day ok) of her country? But that's ok I guess I ate red, yellow and green peppers yesterday. I didn't have anything blue tho. No I did! I drank Ribena! And Ribena is made of blueberries, so it's blue, it's ok (ok, ok it's made from blackcurrant but who cares? Not like I can differentiate between blueberry, blackcurrant, sultanas and Blackberrys innit? Well, yeah Blackberry is a phone or a PDA or whatchamacallit) But it's okayyy! Peace and love on Earth! Tomorrow I'm gonna upload some photos of the snow we had in Feb.

Oh and by the way I do not like Myleene Klass. I think she is ugly. So much in fact that whenever her Pantene ad is on TV I need to look somewhere else. Like she scares me. Her face is wonky. And I cringe when she says "And Pantene" Lordy, I will never use Pantene again. Not that I do. I think dishwashing liquid is quite good.

Whaddup bruvvv! Yo people, whassup.

Oh my God it's been ages. 3 months! Shugar! Oh well. Kevin was like "Whaaat? You gonna blog? Finally?!" while rubbing his palms together. So I been reading Marian Keyes' "Under The Duvet" and "Further Under The Duvet" back to back yeah, it sort of inspired me to go and do it (blog) Oh well. (That's the 2nd Oh well of this post. Not a good start) Yeah so yeah. Whatever. I got so much to say I dunno where to start. Let's start with the baddest first. Oh but to tell you about that I need to tell you about other stuff first. Ok so last time I blogged I was still living in Kingsbury opposite da statchian. Then my tenency or tenancy agreement came to an end and my new landlord being a total withered prick (malbar l'inde res malbar l'inde kisorma la) he said take care see youse la-er. And since the other peeps livin in with us moved away, me and darling Kevvie got a studio flat instead of a proper flat (to save money yeah) Which brought us back to Wembley. That place was crap, no shit. There was so many problems I'm tellin' ya. First of all the bloody drain was blocked, which stinked up the whole place and left me with massive headaches. I never knew blocked drains gave you headaches. It gave them to me. So the washing mashine wouldn't drain and so on and so forth. Plus there was mice and droppings everywhere and they even got to the box of chocolates my husband gave to me on V-day. Bloody fuckers. And what else... Yeah fucking boiler broke down whenever it bloody felt like it. Which was around 54 times daily. So no heating and no hot water. And we're in bloody winter. And since I haven't been around here long enough, had I had balls, I swear they would have dropped off from the cold. (Not a joke) So a month later we came to the place where I am living now which is still in Wembley and is lovelay. The only bad thing about this place is that the washing machine is shared. I didn't have any trouble at first but yesterday, this woman asked me if it was my stuff in the machine. I said no and she said to me that there's stuff in the machine and that it wasn't switched on and that she had to use it so she switched it on. She was proper pissed off cos she's got a baby and stuff so I think it's quite hard. So last night I came in and needed to use the bloody machine and there was bloody clothes both on and in the machine. So I went to knock on every door at 22:30. The lady with the baby lives just next to that other ugly bitch I hate and never speak to. That bitch yeah, I think she's got a problem with me. She stares at me with big big eyes whenever she sees me and never says hello. So I knock on lady with a baby's door and ask her if it's her stuff around there and she says no it was there all day. Bitch next door comes and eavesdrop- I know cos her floorboards were creaking and I heard her footsteps. I knock at her door and ask her if it's her stuff and she opens her eyes big and says yes. I say can you please take your stuff out cos I gotta use it init and she gets pissed off but doesn't say anything. Maybe she's stupid (malbar l'inde wadire) So fuck you if you gets pissed init. Whoops, Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is on seeyouse!

uninspired

I ate a packet of Starbuck's Sea Salt flavored crisps the other day and I was amazed by the taste. It was salty. Not as in salty salty but salty salty. Like proper salt. It's casually mentioned on the packaging that they do not use donkey tears to salt their crisps. Which got me wondering. Have I unknowingly been eating donkey extract on other crisps? And how do they manage to get so much donkey tears? Do they breed a special type of donkey that cries 24/7? And keep a bucket just underneath their faces to collect fresh tears? Maybe the scientific name for those types of donkeys is "Donkeynus cryarnus" Or do they keep freshly cut onions near those donkeys? Donkey's tears indeed.