Off to Blackpool?

Ooh la la. It's been a while, hasn't it? Erm where do I start? Kevin's birthday. Yeah. So on the 25th it was my bunny's birthday. Since it was the first time we were celebrating a birthday together, I baked him a cake and roasted a chicken. My brother in law wouldn't believe it when I gave him cake and roast chicken to eat. He kept on saying "No, is it really yours? Where'd you buy it?" Oh well, admire them a bit.

My roast chicken

Ok the icing looks wonky but I'm no good with drawing...

Aww look at my baby!



Look at his cute, cheeky smile!

That night, he kept on snuggling and hugging me, saying "Thanks for the best birthday ever!" I even got him roses as a birthday pressie and he told me "It's the first time someone gives me flowers!"

It was so cool seeing him smile so much. He was really happy. Oh well, that made me happy as well.

Oh and tomorrow I might be going to Blackpool. I heard it's 5 hours ride by car... Boring...

Scared shitless.

I'd been nagging El Kevino for sometime to take me to a funfair. He did. I'll never ever bother him to take me to one again. I don't really know how to explain. Let's just say it's a longgggggg pole that goes round and round and round. It's feets tall. As soon as I saw it I said to Kev, "I wanna ride this one! Mo pou monter! Mo pou monter!" He said ok. As soon as I sat one the seat and the guy clipped down the upper bit, I looked at my baby and thought "If I die who's going to take care of him?" He was smiling in a sick way. He hates rides. Then the thingie went up. As soon as it was halfway, it started picking up speed. Then I thought that that damn thing had to come back down. And back down it came the MOTHERFUCKER. I started screaming and screaming and screaming. I was the only one on the ride. I felt so sick to my stomach. I felt like... I have goosebumps when I try to recall that. 20 seconds into the ride I was like "Fuck off, I don't wanna look!" But after a few moments, curiosity got the better of me and I opened my eyes. Big mistake. Actually my head was down, I could see the sky between my thighs. I think it goes on or one minute or something. But that one minute was the scariest of my life. I thought about all those times I watched scary movies and thought I was scared. Or the times I sneaked into the house pissed out of my head, hoping my parents wouldn't notice, and being scared they'd find out. Those things are so puerile when you compare them to what I've been through in that ride. Then after some time, I screamed "STOP ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT, OH PLEASE STOP, MAKE IT STOP, KEV MAKE THEM STOP" But the bastard was talking to the guy who was in charge. I later found out that he told the guy that I had been begging him to take me, and that it was my first time. The guy said "The way she's screaming, it's her last. She won't come back again!" You bet your arse I won't, you fucker. When the thing finally came down with the powerfullest (most powerful) "WHOOOSH" after being suspended for some while high up, I was screaming and slobbering and begging that guy to "Undo me, undo it, lemme down please", I ran straight to the safety of Kevin's arms and cried and cried and cried while he held on to me saying "Shhh Aveish, it's over, fini bb, to avec moi aster, nou al lakaz, it's over bouba, please don't cry" But no amount of cajoling could make me stop crying. I couldn't walk, I was going round in circles I think. I was hysterical and told Kevin "Mo pa pou monter, mo pa pou monte lor sa, never again, pa fer moi monter please!" People were staring but like fuck I cared. So we sat down in the park and Kev talked to me a bit more. I cried so much I ruined my make up. Then I begged my shuga to take me to the car because I wanted to go home. He first asked me to clean my face or else people would think we were arguing. I cleaned my face, then I started crying again. I was crying all the way to the car. Then I calmed down. But then Kev took the piss and went "To pou al funfair encore Minoush?" I started crying again. We came back home, I got in bed and Kev came to cuddle me in bed and I cried and cried and cried. I still have goosebumps when I think about that. He's still going on about funfairs and rides and "Pa fer movais sinon mo amen toi funfair"

Ayo let's talk about something cheery now. On Thursday, me and the girls went to Greenwich. Since they're much cooler than Kev, I wore pink tights under my ripped jeans, and a pink t shirt. (Something I'd never do when I'm out with him- he won't let me) The weather was nice but windy. We went to the park there, where there's the observatory. I find it funny. We used to learn about "Greenwich Mean Time" in primary. I never thought I'd go there someday. But I did. And I'm proud. The view from there is so nice. I actually went to Greenwich cos I wanted to visit the place. But the the girls went there as they wanted to eat a chinese. There's a nice Chinese restaurant there. Then we visited the painted hall and the chapel- it's in the university complex. Then there's those stairs that lead you to the river Thames. I went down and got a rock and it sits proudly on my chest of drawers now. I've named it my "Roche Greenwich-Thames"

It's so tiny and cute. I liked Greenwich but I think I'll like it better in the summer. We'll go there again sometime soon. And oh, we forgot the camera home so we couldn't take pics. But we made up for it when we came back home. We took pics of ourselves at home.

Ah and the other day Maneka was making breakfast and we opened a can of baked beans only to find out that it had no tomato sauce in it. A quick call to Heinz's 0800 number got me a £2 voucher on the next day. Thank you Heinz.

EL NINO!

God I had loadsa fun today. Ok. How do I start. With the beginning? Ok. Right. Ok. So I woke up early and got ready to go to Ram Mandir which is in Southall. It's the first time I went there and I must say I was impressed. It was really nice. I knew what I wanted to wear and Kev wasn't so sure. So I made him wear something that had just come through the post yesterday:

My shugabunny and his LFC jersey.

He goes around saying stuff like"Fernando Torres", "El Nino", "He's the BOI!" He pats his jersey and says "I'm the BOI, the living legend, YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!" And one thing I learnt recently is that his father named him after his favourite player- Kevin Keegan or Kevin Keagan, excuse my spelling. So that's why his nick name is KingKev. Haha.

Then we came back home and Maneka told me that she was going to City as she wanted to pop into Primark for a top or something. Since I had a few things to get for Kevin's birthday, I just changed and off we were. We first went to Wembley and hit the poundshops as she said I'd get a good baking tin for the cake I'll be baking Kev for his birthday. We saw those really cool candles with "I love you" written on them and loads of little hearts. It was little cube candles and each cube had a letter on it. We didn't fancy carrying those big sticks of candles to the City and since there were only 2 of them left, we went to the counter and asked the girl politely if she could keep them for us and we'd pick them up tomorrow. She said sure. Then she was trying to write Maneka's name on the plastic bag and it wouldn't write. She was a bit hassled. Then she just blurted: "Where are you from?" So me and Maneka go realy loud "MAURITIUSSSSS!" and she goes "I thought so! I'm from Seychelles! I heard you speaking Creole, that's why I asked" I laughed and said "Yeah Dallon, we neighbours!" That made her laugh and me and Maneka go like "Go on say something in Creole" and she goes "Comment sa va" We went "Yeah!!!!!" It was the first time we saw her there and we asked her if she had just started work and she told us her boyfriend had taken over the shop so she was helping out. I smiled and said "Then you're definitely gonna see us here all the time." We were really elated by that. Weird huh?

Next we went to Primark and as usual I was talking loud Creole. I told Maneka "Eh to conner mo ser in a dan ene magasin Quatre Bornes-" When a big burly white man stopped dead in his tracks, looked down at me right in the face and went "B toi ki top fer la?!" In CREOLE. It was funny. But scary too because I hate big people staring down at me.

Then we were at the counter and I was looking for some gift wrapping paper when I banged my hand hard on something there. I said the usual "Ah mover likilanGETfaliTORMAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! KKLIKI!"Then too late I realised Primark is a place where loads of Mauritians go- I had met that white creole speaking guy a few moments earlier. A quick look around did everything to reassure me. Only to find, a few moments later that there was this guy with a sleeveless hoodie right in front of me. And there was "LIQUID" written on his hoodie. HE WAS MAURITIAN! I felt a bit ashamed... Not a lot though. Can't be bothered to be ashamed. Swearing is my life end of the day.

We then went to Clinton's where I got candles for my shuga's cake:

I wanted to take another set of candles that spelt "Old Git" but Maneka said "He probably won't understand what GIT means"
That's true though. He amazes me at times. The other day he was studying for a food safety exam and he went "Aveish kieter sa 'rodent'?" I was shocked. But still I answered saying "Rats, mice... to conner" and then after a few moments "Aveish 'gravy' kieter?" To which I said "To conner sa lasauce pomme de terre gagner dan ti bol dan KFC la, samem sa." He kept on reading and then "Aveish 'kwish' kieter?" I just stopped typing on the computer, put my glasses on, made a stern face and went: "Kwish? Ki kwish? QUICHE! Ene tarte saler. Tarte dou dire tarte, tarte saler dir QUICHE. Dire moi to p take the piss la? Non eski to p take the piss?" He went all angry and went "Mo gagne droit demande toi kan mo pa conner non?" The thing is, I wonder how he's become a lawyer. I mean come on. He knows complicated stuff but not the smallest things. He's lived in the UK for 10 years. He's bought Rodent poison for the house in Wembley and has never heard the term rodent before, he's eaten loads of gravy and quiches but he still wonders they are. MEN!

Yesterday was my sister in law Swapna's birthday. She called us over for dinner and we went there. We had fun, it was nice. I was sitting with Niroy on the couch and saw that he had a nice little bracelet. It was woven from thick threads and was blue, red and white. The following conversation went on ("Toy" is Niroy's nickname):

Me: "Toy that's a nice bracelet you got here. Where did you get it?"
Him: "Yeah. It's a remembrance braysh-let."
Me: "Remembrance bracelet?"
Him: "REMEMBRANCE braysh-let yes."
Me: "What's that supposed to be? Why do you wear it?"
Him: "You put it and when you see it in your hand you remember that you have to do something, you put it because it makes you to remember do do this or that."
Me: "Ah ok I get it"
Him: "That's it"
Me: "So what did you forget to do that you had to wear a remembrance bracelet to remember you have to do it?"
Him: "I don't remember"

Froot Jelly

We had loads of strawberries and kiwis at home and since fasting is going on I decided, in a burst of inspiration, to make a fruit jelly. I had bought a couple of Jelly Sticks from Oriental City the other day and I thought, let's go. The results, I must say, sunnyflowers, was FAB and DELICIOUS. Enjoy...

Aveish's Smita-esque weekend

I went to Smita's on Saturday. It was so overdue. I felt so fucking sad to leave Kev on his own and after a few tears from me and "Don't be silly I will manage, Yes Aveish I will try to miss you, I will text you, I will try to think about you all the time, I will try my best to feel sad when I get to bed and hug no one but our stuffed toys" from Kevin on Friday night, we fell asleep. On Saturday morning I woke up with him at 4 (because he had an early start on that day) and made him some Nestum and sniffled a bit, he casually asked me what time I was to leave home. When I said 4pm he said "I don't think I'll be back before 4" I felt so sad... Well anyway he went to work and I slept and then woke up again and went to Wembley to get Smit's gift. I was back at around 1pm then at around 2 when I was watching MTV and having lunch I heard "Ki score? Kisana p gagner" I nearly choked on my diri-lentil-rougaille poisson salé lunch. He was back before he was due!!!!! And he gave me a huge smile and I was so happy and he just plonked down on the sofa and went "Met footie ta! Mone gagne pou sorti boner, mo dire mo vine get football" I was like "You're not here to see me?" He goes "Wa wa sa si, mo pou manger la, taler to fer ene dité pou moi. Korek sa, res trankil mo p get footie la" Men. After footie and TEA, he goes "How would you like me to come with you to Chancery Lane (Where me and Smits were meeting up.) I was like yeah why not. So he came with me and we met Smits and as soon as she saw me she jumped on me and gave me a huge cuddle. I like it when she cuddles me but she cuddles me in a way that makes me feel like a 3 year old. I mean if we're at home and she cuddles it's fine. But on the streets everybody stares. Maybe they think I'm a retard? So then we went to Smits' and I made farata, chouchou touffer, rougaille champignon and red and green and yellow pepper salad and she made chick peas masala. Really nice. Yummy. She was very happy with all the food. Then we talked a bit till 3 am then we drifted off to sleep. At 7 am Kevin called me and said "Shiro Janana!! La neige p tomber!" I was like "Yes I'm sleeping yes ok bye" Then I told Smita about it she was like "Yeah" When I was wide awake later on, I went to the window and said "Look Smit, snow!" She went "Ki gogot sa mo bizin al lekol" But the snow was really thin. It wasn't extraordinary. We then set out. Her back to school, me back to Kingsbury...

Mamzelle p fer so zes.

Fatty trying to eat some snow

I'm so... SO right now cos I SO can't find my wallet which contains many things but particularly my Orange Top Up and Oyster cards. I can't be bothered to get a voucher and top up my phone. And I'm going to Smit's place tomorrow so I'll need my Oyster as well. I've been looking for that damn wallet all over the place. I dunno where to look and Kev won't help me look for it either. This is SO unfair because I always help him out. Whenever he looks for something I mean. I'm sad. Where will I get that wallet? Eh likitorma vine devant moi do gogot. Another thing that's doing my head is a gift for Smita, cos it's her birthday. She likes Bratz dolls so I was thinking about giving her one. But Kev looked at me in an angry way. He then told me she's too old for dolls. But how do I explain to a nearly 30 year old that Bratz dolls are sluts? But where is my wallet? I know I haven't dropped it somewhere because I distinctly remember pulling out my Boots and Lloyds TSB cards and throwing the wallet somewhere in my room and running out to Boots. Oh well. I'll just have to keep looking and pack my bags. Have a nice weekend kids.